Coming into Honduras, I was already feeling tired.

By the end of Guatemala, I started to feel homesick in a way I hadn’t before. And if I’m being honest, I think some of that didn’t just start here; it started before I even left. Back home, I was constantly on the go. Working at Stonecreek, running to Valor, always around people, always doing something. I didn’t really slow down much, and I think I carried some of that burnout with me into the race without even realizing it. So when things started to feel heavy out here, it wasn’t just the moment; it was everything catching up. This lifestyle is so full, but it also takes a lot out of you—mentally, emotionally, and physically. Living in constant community, always being around people, pouring out every day in ministry… it can be a lot. I found myself feeling restless and honestly just worn down. With all of that, I really didn’t want to just go through the motions for the last part of the race. I didn’t want to show up to ministry just to say I did it. I wanted my heart to actually be in it. Because I’ve realized something in this season: ministry starts with your heart. If I’m not rooted in the Lord, if I’m not being filled by Him first, then everything else just feels empty.

To be honest, Honduras really tested that. We were up in the mountains, and most days looked like manual labor or long walks doing house visits, sometimes hours up and down hills. It was physically exhausting, and at this point in the race, everything just felt a little heavier. The tiredness hit deeper than I expected, and I think it left me feeling a little confused too, like, why do I feel this way when I’m doing something so good? Part of me just wanted comfort again: home, routine, familiar places and people, and the normal rhythms I used to have. But another part of me knew the Lord still had me here for a reason. It felt like this constant back and forth of choosing what I was going to lean into. What I’ve been learning is that just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. The Lord has been reminding me that He is my rest, even when everything around me feels exhausting. That I don’t have to have it all together; I just have to keep coming back to Him. Some days that looked like sitting in silence, not having the right words, just choosing to be with Him anyway.

It didn’t suddenly make everything easy, but it changed how I walked through it. Instead of shutting down or pulling back, I felt the Lord slowly shifting my perspective. Giving me more compassion for the people we were serving, even when I was tired. Reminding me why I’m here in the first place. Because the Gospel is still worth it. No matter how I feel, no matter how tired I am, Jesus is still the name worth sharing. And even getting to walk to one home, pray over one family, or have one conversation… it matters.

Now being back in the U.S., it’s been a different kind of hard. In some ways it makes the end feel so much closer, but not necessarily easier. Living about 45 minutes from the Adventures in Missions base has been such a gift, but also harder than I expected. Everything feels familiar again, and that’s both comforting and emotional. If I’m being real, I cried the whole drive from the ATL airport to Gainesville. Passing all the familiar roads and places and even my home… it hit me all at once. It made me realize how much has changed and how much I’ve missed.

Now there are only 16 days until I’m home.

And I’m trying to hold that with open hands to soak in this season fully while also preparing my heart for what’s next. This whole journey has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect, but it’s also shown me how much I need the Lord in every season, not just overseas.

And I’m still learning what it looks like to choose Him in that, every single day.